My Life Can Continue

Being gone in so many ways has been hard.  This has been the most trying time in my whole life.  My health has been in caos, and the reality of life around us has also been hard pressed and trying.  But, restoration is, well, in process in some so many ways, and in the horizon in others.  It's been a hard battle to say the least, and I was loosing on my own.  Only once I started to hand it over to our Lord and Father has victory been evident.  All praise and glory must be given to God, and God alone. 

2 Chronicles 20: 9 "If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us."
2 Chronicles 20: 12 "For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you (Lord)."
2 Chronicles 20: 15 "This is what the Lord says to you: Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army.  For the battle is not your, but God's"
2 Chronicles 20: 17 "Take your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you"
2 Chronicles 20: 20 "Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld"

So to you who are asking how I am - my answer is, "I'm being upheld."

These are the truths I do know:
-God is here and evident every day in my life
-Execpt for a few times my potassium has been held with the use of the potassium pills
-My stomach and esaphogas are healing with the medicine
-My asthma is under control with the medicne
-My anxiety is now being healed with the use of medicine
-My family has been surrounded with love that is never ceasing from our friends, family, neighbors, and church family
-I have a SVT pocedure on the 27th that is going to help fix my arrythmias
-I can move my neck again
-My vertigo is gone
-The mold in our bathroom was not dangerous or an airborn mold
-The flood didn't come in enough to cause severe damage
-The tree didn't fall in a way that distroyed our house (check our facebook)
-The sleeping pills are finally helping me get sleep

These are the things I don't know:
-What has been keeping my potassium low for almost a year now?
-Is the cyst they found on my ovay safe? (Should find out in the next month or so)
-When will Aaron get to take the exam he has studied 2 years for? And why wasn't this October in God's plan?
-How will God hold us up financially through all of this?

I believe God has given me quite the story to share and minister with to glorify His kingdom, but for now I'm still in the middle of the journey, so....
THE BIGGEST ANSWER I HAVE FOR WHAT HAS BEEN GOING ON CAN ONLY BE EXPRESSED IN THIS POEM THE HOLY SPIRIT HELPED ME WRITE:

TURNING POINT




I asked you God to make me anew.
“Break Me” were words I even used, too.
I was so unhappy with ugliness in my heart,
But I didn't know fixing it meant tearing it apart.


You know my weakness has always been trust
And that being physically strong was always a must.
You challenged them both at the same time.
Is it because you lovingly want my faith to be sublime?


On every level I'm broken to pieces,
And at times my fear never ceases.
I have such an ache to flail and take back control,
But your voice inside me says that will never make me whole.
With limited understanding I'd only recreate what I already knew
Instead of the masterpiece you so lovingly and wisely know to be true.
My question, God, is not, “Are you here; where could you be?”
But instead, “How does this journey end; where are you taking me?”


How do I let go of all security, every safety net?
How do I find freedom in peace during continuous threat?
So here I go – holding only onto hope and doing something I've never done.
I'll clinch onto trust in you and believe I'm truly your loved one.


If that is the only true answer I ever receive,
I want to be content in your power and to that only cleave.
The devil tells me it's not enough
But here and now I'm calling his bluff!

Thank you all for your love and support.  I count on your continued prayers because they mean everything to me!

Jessica