Not as Expected - But Some How Better

So, this is the point of the summer when life as my family knew it came to a screeching halt.  The day of Adrian and Melani's rehearsal for their wedding (July 2) I got rushed to the E.R..  I knew that something was wrong with how my heart was working.  I had been through 3 days already of fatigue, and random heart races and "jolts" through my heart that spread to my neck and head, but I figured that maybe I was just out of alignment and needed to see the chiropractor.  But, I had seen the chiropractor the day before (July 1) and I was now hit with in an instanstaneous heart pounding race.  It truly felt like my heart was giving it's last energies and efforts into trying to work.  I know there was something wrong.  I had experienced this in some forms over the last 8 years but more so over the last 9 months.  In fact I had been to the E.R. in October of 2009 and in March of 2010 with the same type of problem.  This time the doctor came in and informed me that my potassium was dangerously low.  Potassium is part of the electrolytes of your body that conduct how all of the muscles in your body work...especially the heart.  If they are too low or too high it can be fatal.  I remembered that in Oct. at the E.R. they had also mentioned my potassium being low.  This time they gave me a potassium drip and a prescription for potassium pills.  I went on my way thinking that everything was okay. 

The morning of the wedding a had a mild episode but after taking my pill I was okay.  Then, on our drive home from the wedding I was hit with a heart episode that lasted over an hour long; basically the entire drive between Midland and San Angelo.  It was July 4th and we were trying to get back to my parents house for a family reunion and fireworks, but instead got stuck in San Angelo for several hours at the E.R..  All they could conclude is that maybe I had anxiety and they put me on Xanax which knocked me out and made me nauseous.  All I remember is waking up when we got to my parents house in Buda (4 hours later).  This was frustrating because I knew, as I had for the past 8 years, that something was wrong with my heart but no one had figured it out, or even cared to.  They all just chalked it up to anxiety.

Then, the next day (July 5) we spent time hanging out with my side of the family at my parents house.  While waiting for a movie to start we went to a little shop.  I tried on a dress that had to fit over my head and I felt a pop in my neck and an instant sensation of sickness spread through my body.  I know I had really knocked my neck out of alignment.  I have been dealing with severe neck problems for 6 years and I see a chiropractor specialist to manage it.  But, since I have had 3 infants/toddlers and 2 pregnancies in that time as well, I have never given my body time to heal.  I already had an appointment in a couple of days to see my chiropractor so I didn't think much of it.  In fact, since money is really, really tight for us these days I called on Wednesday, July 7, to push my appointment back to the next week.  All things changed the next day.

On the morning of Thursday, July 8 I woke up due to spinning.  If felt like the world, the room, and my body were all spinning out of control.  I fought through it and got ready for the day.  Aaris had a play-date that morning with a friend she hadn't seen in awhile and I didn't want her to miss out on that.  But, only after 30 minutes of her friend being here, I started to realize that something was seriously wrong with me and I needed to seek medical attention.  The only doctor I had really seen in 6 years besides my OB/GYN was my chiropractor, so we got the friend sent home, the kids to the neighbors, and my mother came to pick me up to go see the chiropractor.  ANY time I moved everything would spin out of control to the point that I would literally fall down and almost black out.  It felt like my head was falling off my body.  It was terrifying.  My normal chiropractor was busy but I saw two other specialist in the office.  I was there 3 hours.  My neck, shoulders, and head just locked up.  The vertigo, as I now knew it to be, was not getting any better.  I spent the next day, Friday, at the chiropractor specialist for 3 hours again, but still no improvement in my vertigo, or my neck and head being locked up.  I would wake up throughout the night just due to the spinning.  If I tried to move my head in any way the pain was so intense and deep and powerful it felt like I could have an aneurysm.  I couldn't eat or talk without my jaw locking up.  Aaron tried to get out and buy me smoothies whenever possible.  During all of this my heart is still having episode of racing and "jolts" from my heart just hitting my body hard.  I spent another 3 hours on Monday, July 12 at the chiropractor specialist.  Finally, I saw them on Thursday, July 15, and for the first time could slowly, but surely start to move my head from side to side and up and down but with very little range.  The vertigo was still there. 

The next couple of weeks are a blur.  I just remember all of the out of control occurrences happening to my body 24/7.  I had many visits to the E.R..  I tried finding a primary physician so that someone could figure this all out.  I saw other specialist as well including endocrinologists, nephrologist, and ENTs.  But, symptoms were getting worse.  My blood pressure was creeping up at times to 150 over 100.  I now couldn't swallow any food without it getting stuck in my throat and any time I tried to drink I would choke from it going down my trachea instead of my esophagus.  I was also waking up several time each hour, ANY time I tried to fall asleep, gasping for air.  I was literally waking up because I was chocking and unable to breath without changing positions.  

Finally one doctor admitted me to the hospital.  I had lost about 10 lbs in 4 weeks.  And, I was exhausted form not sleeping and all of these problems constantly hitting me:  blood pressure dropping 30 points instantly when I stood up, spikes in high blood pressure, vertigo, excruciating pain in my neck and head and still unable to move them very well (I couldn't even ride in a car for more than a few minutes before the pain was so bad I could cry), fatigue, burning in my chest, unable to breath very well - especially when I tried to sleep, chocking on food and water, oh, and my heart pounding and racing out of control...just to name a few.

Fear, pure fear was starting to hit me without letting up.  I was unable to live life.  Physically there was just no possible way, and now I truly was deveolping anxiety, panic, and depression.  I felt very, very close to God and spent more time with Him then ever before, but didn't know how to stand up against all of this hitting my body.  Even though I was getting more time with God and learning more from Him, I was scared of what His ultimate goal was for my life and my family's life.  Would I be 'handicapped' in some way by all of this my whole life and Aaron basically having to take care of all of us because I was just as dependent as the kids?  

The only comfort I got were "messages" from God DAILY...no joke!!!  Daily he would speak through me by having me open my Bible to a specific spot of scripture, from a friend calling at the exact time I needed to hear a specific message, from my kids just instantly dropping what they were doing and running over to me to hug me in the middle of a heart episode that I didn't even tell them was occurring.  God would have just the right person or persons show up at my house that day with scripture or a message that related exactly to what I had just read in the Bible, or even dreamed in one of my short sleeping episode.  And, I must say that there were two times that God was literally in the person speaking directly to me and that it was not the person speaking, but God.  It's hard to describe, but I didn't see that person's spirit in them at that moment, I saw God.  I would be sitting there in Awe and truly feeling the since that I was on Holy Ground.  It was His Spirit speaking directly to my Spirit.

An amazing part of this journey was Aaron and I being witnesses to the power of love from a church family.  We couldn't have been more blessed by our Christian family living around us.  The ladies up here just took on my family as their own.  They brought us meals, the set up child care for us that lasted all day long, every week day.  They prayed for us.  They became second mothers to our family.  I will never forget their example of true love and 'loving thy neighbor as thy self' attitudes...or even in this case, loving they neighbor before they self.  

On Tuesday, August 2, I finally decided to not just listen to God, but to trust Him as well.  I had to give up on finding answers and fighting all of the aliments.  I had to hand them all over to God and trust his perfect plan knowing full well it might not be healing.  I just stopped trying to act and just had to force myself to listen and be obedient to whatever God had the doctors do.  I prayed over every single appointment and decided that God would be in control and have what needed to happen or not happen occur.  To my amazement,  within days God was getting things taken care of, answering medical questions, and showing me healing that I hadn't had in the past month.  An ENT found the problem to my vertigo and healed it.  Another ENT found that I had severe reflux that was tearing up my stomach and esophagus and got me on medicine.  My internal medicine doctor found that the reflux was causing severe asthma.  My chiropractor discovered that my neck was in better alignment than it has ever before been in (that's why a lot of pain was involved - my muscles where having to reset themselves in this new, better position)!  And, then the coolest news of all came.  The answer to a problem I had to live with for 8 years but that no one else believe existed...an answer to my heart racing and pounding out of control.  A cardiac specialist dealing with arrhythmias discovered that I had a nerve problem in my heart that caused my heart episodes.  Every symptom I had he confirmed as being valid with this heart condition,  even the fact that the episodes increase the older someone gets.  I just cried from release of the burden and shouted with excitement from the revelation of the answer all at the same time!!!!!

My surgery wasn't going to take place for another 5 weeks and I was still dealing with all of the symptoms of everything because none of the healing (besides the vertigo) had time to take effect from all the new medication I was now on.  My fear was still there because all of my physical symptoms were still there night and day.  I had now lost another 5 pounds.  My heart new everything would be okay, but my physical condition didn't let my mind rest and trust it as well.  The devil took full advantage of this.  He just kept reminding me of all the trials our family had faced over the last 6 years or so years: severe physical complications until God sent me to a chiropractic specialist, Aaron having 4 different jobs, Aaris having open heart surgery, Titus having unfavorable reactions to vaccines at 4 months old, financial frustration due to jobs, problems with licensing tests, and having to sell Aaron's business, my heart racing for no reason and being alone in the truth that something wasn't right with my heart.  My spirit new that through all of these trials God had brought us through and made the situation victorious.  But, unfortunately in my mind all of the these, and many more problems we had faced and some we are still going through (too numerous to list) made me feel like a victim and scared of what was going to happen next.  So, after a very, very rough night and consulting with a psychiatrist I had just started seeing, as well as my primary physician, I decided to check myself into Shoal Creek Hospital.  We all felt like it was the safest place for me physically.  They had nurses and doctors on hand 24/7 to monitor my potassium issues, my blood pressure issues, my heart issues, my sleeping issues (still unable to sleep), and my breathing issues to make sure I was physically safe.  There was a main hospital right next door so that if my body reacted badly to any medication combination I could get immediate care.  I stayed there for 9 days as they were able to get all my medications in balance. 

Now, during all of this the devil decided to throw some curve balls at our family to see if we would strike out and call it quits, or with God's help hit a home run and defeat him.  In late August, due to water suddenly coming out from under my bathroom cabinets, we discovered that probably for the last 1/2 year or more water had been leaking from our hot water tank in my bathroom cabinets (small supplement tank just for our end of the house).  Aaron decided to save money and not hire a plumber and replace it himself.  In all of that he discovered that all of the cabinets under my counter tops were rotted through from the water, and there was mold.  Therefore, he had to rip all of the base to my cabinets out and replace the whole thing.  THEN, on Tuesday night, September 7 the disasters of a flood hit our house.  Flood water came all the way up to the front of our house (which means that if you were standing at our back gate of our backyard the water would have been over your head) from the creek that runs behind our house.  (Neighbors who have lived here since their houses were built said the waters have never been that high.)  Water leaked into our office closet, my closet and my side of the cabinets in my bathroom.  The biggest devastation though was our HUGE tree in the backyard got blown over.  God had He's hand on it though and had it fall to were it did the least amount of damage as possible.  The big limbs from it did hit one side of the playroom and break the roof enough to have minimal leakage.  But, if it would have fallen any other direction it would have CRUSHED the playroom, or our wooden deck and arbor, or even our master bedroom with the enormous trunk.  The only other things we lost were the trampoline (crushed by the tree), a play scape for the kids, a playhouse for the kids, and a huge wooden picnic table.

Miracles do still happen.  The last weekend in September, the two days before my heart surgery, the amazing men from our church family hit our backyard like a Christian army.  Insurance didn't cover much and Aaron was going to have to do a never ending amount of work himself to get our yard in a safe condition for our dog and kids to be in (either that or we have to spend money we didn't have to have help fixing everything).  But, that all changed.  People showed up with donations of trucks, trailers, dump trucks, tractors, drills, chainsaws, tools, and pure hard work to fix our backyard.  The fence that got washed away by the flood was replaced.  The HUGE trunk of the tree was cut up, root and all, and hauled off.  Oh, and other things like a new faucet from the one just starting to leak in the kitchen was replaced, and electrical work to get a new hot water tank was run.  THEN, Monday came.  My heart surgery.  My cardiac specialist found the SVT nerve problem and FIXED IT!!!!!!!!  That chapter of my life was healed!  HEALED!!!!    

As of today I have been healed and even improved in health in almost every area that was effected by all of this chaos.  The only question still unanswered is my potassium.  No one has found an answer to why my potassium has been dropping over the last year.  We are playing around with some ideas of my body not reacting well to simple sugars, excessive exercise, or stress and trying to avoid those.  But, I have to have faith that God will perfectly be in charge of this issue in His way and in His own timing as well.  I have over come a recent stint of bronchitis and am in great health.  I'm able to be a full time mom and wife again.  My desire is to now be a full time servant of God as well and every day be used in some great service to Him and His work.  Along with that, material healing has come to our family, only by the grace of God and by the love and hearts of so many that we know and don't know.  Our house and backyard are back to having no problems needing to be fixed.  Aaron's job doesn't have health benefits and we have been hanging onto Cobra that runs out in December.  This led to about a $21,000 debt of medical bills due to my health in the last year.  We have been sent checks in the mail that have started to erase that debt.  

God is amazing and I must say that I truly am in love with Him.  I've always loved Him and fear/respected Him and His power, but this is the first time I have been in love with Him.  It has changed my life forever.  

One night (Sunday, August 22 to be exact) when I broke down God looked at me through Aaron's eyes and used him as a vessel to speak these words of scripture to me:

     "And the God of all grace, who called  you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen."  1 Peter 5:10-11